despite these past few years, I naturally lean towards the risk adverse type (ahaha I know, but bare with me), yet burdened by the constant desire to bet the entire farm on what I think is an uniquely great opportunity.

I think that leaning is informed by really large winners I had in the recent past and perhaps the *naive* desire to get that high again.

so I have a constant battle with myself to dampen that desire.

but I also seem to have this second voice always reminding me, is being that conservative, really the path to achieve the outlier results, that you so much seek?

being too conservative has slowed me down a lot in the past. I remember trading a trend system with minimal volatility when I was trading a low 5 fig account.

I remember not touching anything else, afraid to lose that small pool of capital as that was all I had. I wouldn't even explore onchain opportunities afraid to plug in my wallet and lose it.

obviously that was driven by ignorance but most of it just by pure fear.

yet, looking back, all the good opportunities for my size, were where I was most afraid to go.

as I write this, I am pouring a bunch of time and effort into an opportunity we have now in crypto. I spend a lot of my time thinking about it. my bags are heavy with its exposures.

yet, at the same time, I know, that opportunity is shrinking and it will fade like all past opportunities.

so I am already preparing for the next one again.

I don't know when or where will it come from, but I know once every few years I ride some of these massive winners.

it doesn't have to be a single asset or anything like that, it could be a business opportunity, a sector, a new meta (trend), etc.

all that it matters is that I am there to capture it.

but I don't want to over glorify an activity that is really really risky and that carries a lot of pain for a long stretch of time. trust me, I know.

most people won't be able to take that battle, and will do more harm to themselves, had they just did the normal things.

there's no outlier results without the underlying outlier risk innit?

yet fully aware of the plane, I push forward...